why oweys me? not balloteli but Wai Hong

what happened to myself..? today my blog updated with onli myself. why do myself is such a person in which oweys put the benefit of myself at last in some my weak expect.or this is what called human shall be humble no matter in what section? or human should learn through every section and try to be more and more selfish? i really dunno and i am blurred. I can easily rather to make an ignore, make a rejection or simply don't make any respond towards that, then i will be save right now. What all about tired? Did i am the one who made you tired? i really don't know. I felt more tired insteadly i don't know what you want and what you need. The deep emotion that i would like to express, i dint show up on my face but choose to blogging and expressed it here. =( i really don't understand what difficulties that u faced. i know that when want to blame, it is hard to say who did right and who did wrong. In fact, i really dunno how to face you, but this time, i told myself, yea, we still can be friend, and you requested this, Better than friend, I hope i really could do that cause till now, i only success to make my path that precious all friend, Good or best friend, i still will try harder and harder perhaps.....

the so self protective me

again, while the time i really wanna update my blog, it means that, there are heavy feeling that i duno how to express, but i hope person that i point to, understand what really i would like to mean.

honestly deep from my heart, i am those in which too love myself and high self protective, in which a negative way of saying, my life, i live with my own only. I will only put effort to love those people, which are those that they told me, i am available but once they tell me, sorry, we are impossible, then i shall stop any effort that shows that i love you. it is just because i too love myself already, i cant let myself bare to love someone for nothing, waiting ages for nothing, all effort for nothing... I scared all my efforts turn into zero, negative when i just doing or paying effort in one side, i very very fear that...

I wont easily threat a person too good, i think you shall know it. I first ever felt some1 who so cared me at first, really, it was my first time. You are so so angry on why i reply on slow, and i know, you are just care about me... I not those style, stay the same status while found people threat me good, insteadly i will threat back the people 10x greater than what he/she did on me. i hope all this nt my thought but the real factual that happened. I not sure why on your reject, if all above all just my thought, then i can understand why.

I just hope that you know, now, current me, is just such that minded full of you in single minute of me, if u hardly, seriously remain the same answer, i would let myself took up a long period to forget, to accept. if you think that you want to test me, then i shall fail the test. cause i cant take up my effort to convince myself to continue love someone that not love me.

if you really had that feeling, please tell.

自己

我都会尽量不要让自己去写部落格，感觉如果我写，肯定又是心里已经沉不住了。

hmmm, this short sem comes to almost an end. Now already end of week 6 already. later 3pm will follow mr.ho car and down kl AGAIN. LOL, oweys i been asked where my hometown and why oweys go kl. lol, kl can consider at my 2nd place taht i can stayed rather than my hometown and kampar. hmmm, after u get know more friends, u might think more wisely and think more positive. it's true. lol, this sem get knows some friends. overall, all very friendly and 2 presentation done hmmm, i think not bad ba! hopefully!

relationship, this word always do bother me so much so much. Last time, i did complained why i am not the 1 being love first, y always i am the one who love people first. Now, finally there was a people that who love and care me more at first. Hmm, i was just... actually everything that before showed that too fast for us. Not the pace that i can accepted. however, i dint reject. Was that i rather i am the one who get hurt then to let other ppl to get hurt? how stupid i am.... when suddenly i am the 1 become aggressive and the girl like playing "fishing game", i feel so... lol, i oso duno how to describe that feel. it is like now i doing thing and the girl "wan bother dun wan bother", LOLZ! i hate this kind of feel, i started to be more aggressive  is just because i hope there was really an answer the showed whether that we are really possible, i dont want a bait release and giving game, it's just make me suffer...