大清早

LOL, duno since when i dint woke for so early purposely for STUDY =.= oh shit i just realised something appear centre of my FACE, just at the NOSE, deng =.=

PIMPLES rowr!!!!! omg why this happened to me why this happened to me ><

\

argh yesterday night was almost nearly cried out, so touch, i seldomly would threated like a brother by others. My friend dai fan shu cooked Chrysanthemum for us lol. (好妈妈的感觉）

she thought that i'm joking but i really want to cry jor geh lor =.= i quickly send her down and rush her back after the Chrysanthemum done. i feel very "lat seh" if she saw me cry LOLLLLLLLL so i fast fast send her back after it done ><

我朋友告诉了我这么一句话：

当这个人在这一秒钟已经变得讨厌你、嫌弃你、咒骂你到最后离开你时，要永远记住上天已经安排了下一秒钟走进你生命里的人会是那些珍惜你、疼爱你、呵护你甚至是以你至上的。为他的离开而追思哀悼，为另一个他的到来而欢庆感恩。

whenever the time some1 hate you, leave u or dumb you, scold u and at last this person would leave you but you must remember that GOD treat us equal and fair. There would be someone else who walk into your life, appreciate, love and also care about what you are. pray and bless for the one who leave you, open ur hands and welcome the one who appreciate you.

probably because of the words above from my friend, i put down the big stone that stuck on my back, i dont want to worry so much for others ANYMORE, anymore, i WONT care so much ady, did others would appreciate what i care for them? probably they NEVER know what i did so what's bout me, i also DONT CARE that much already, what would happen then let it be at future, i do my part and what i am now is the only thing i concern now. As Namewee said, I am who i am.

i also learned a lesson that if you purposely to hide something from others, it will become absolutely BOCOR hahahahahahahaha >.<　越是低调越是明显，这个叫？？？？？纸保不住火？ LOLLLLL!!!!!!!  as long as it is a fate, no matter how you hide, it would at last 1 day being known, so why shall we hide from a fate?

confusing emotional

突然脑袋飘来了这么一句话让我觉得很烦恼。频率一样好吗？有时候有些东西对我来说频率一样没有好处，反而给我自己带来烦恼，烦恼+烦恼？到底copy不好还是paste不好？哪个重要？哪个不重要？还是两个都不重要？还是对于某些人来说两个都很重要，因为paste是为了让我能有两份一样的答案。

sometime i was just too curious about myself, why? why shall i be worried and confused about some problem that normal people would not worry about? and why always i was just so cared about the word CARE? what CARE means all about for me? Suddenly i felt that i was too tired, should i let go everything, should i just tell my dad, i am coming home on 13th, can i cancel whatever events and thing that i promised to friends and school??? HOME, HOME HOME, not even the main reason of homesick that made me wanna make a return. It is just because i am so tired, i would like to return home, escape from everything. the mask that i wore on my face was tired enough for me, someone please, help me tear it off please.

everyone saw smile on my face no matter what happened, i never cried around friend, is that crying a shame thing? no, indeed i just hope that i bring happiness to my friend every single minute and every single moment that i be with them :)

however, whenever the time that i think i shall do nothing except escape, here come the logic signalling my brain to tell me that, without any knowledge, you are a loser. I could not bear any lose, what shall i do? i tell myself to study hard, even harder and harder, only great result could reward you back with all hardwork u did.

一个晚上的时间太漫长了，一个晚上的时间能改变的实在太多了，我和他，他和他， 他和她
今天晚上点的一首歌

故事人生

一根钥匙摇不向

两根钥匙叮当叮当响

一张椅子一人坐，很宽松

一张椅子两人坐，稍微挤

一张椅子三人坐，坐不下

一张一起欲多人坐

不可能

一个容器装水五百克

一个容器装水七百克

就算膨胀了

五百永远五百

七百永远七百

野蛮，无奈

无帮助

哑口吃黄连

无人懂

也无法改变任何东西

不是吗

5度风扇很冷

欲关小

4度风扇乃很冷

3度呢？

依然有感觉到冷

心的寒冷

非常冷

没有改变的是

忍

忍

忍

唯有

忍

忍

忍

508am

睡觉去

16 april, a special day

I saw everyone post up the title that yesterday was a boring day. For me, everyday also special cause we gain different thing, we see different thing and it wont be repeated second time as same, so every minute every second i be with my friends, i appreciate it. Maybe because of this reason, i always tends to be Mr.Ok.

indeed, it was really a pack and busy day for me, wow, busy MONDAY = =' at first i woke at 8 due to clock *ringgggggggggg* then slep back =.= then feeling that i will be very overslept then woke i saw message =.= ady 915 =.= whole noon spent at library, study "kick" was back lol. A lot of friends visiting us yesterday, it is like a wave, after 1 end then another come, LOL. outside was just so hot, library an ideal place for student to study then sleep then study, hahahahaha.

Wrote halfway i just realized it had been so long that i never update my blog with such a pattern in which i shared what i did on that day. Reason? I asked myself for times but yet i dint get any answer.... was that i affected by my friends that beside me? if yes, i think it was a positive way in which i change LOLLLL

If i dint saw facebook message, i wont realised that her birthday was that day. No guts or no feel? not dare or don't want? who knows what's the feeling inside my heart, the most important was that even myself also don't know what am i thinking about. it was like kinda confuse inside my mind... the present really indeed hide under my bed from 1178 to 1294 april 2011 till this year april 2012.... what a loonnnngggggg period of time huh? the dust that formed top layer of the box was so thick, as thick as our friendship that been freeze, u never know that during the flea market, the way i looked ur shadow leave me further and further, further and even further....

366天后的今天

改变自己

从小就养成的习惯真的不能改吗？我自认为人定胜天到最后还是痛苦的改变不到自己，出于太自信的我想找个地方诉说，最后选择了部落格。对于异性朋友的那种特别执著是我至今都让我自己很懊恼，很烦的一个坏习惯，我很疼她们，我很在乎她们，没有爱情成分，可是我总不会拿捏到底友情界限有多宽，我能做到哪里，我能给什么，什么是不能要，这一切一切的拿捏，界限我都不懂该怎么去处理。有时候就是因为太执著，觉得当你付出了这么多，那么就应该得到这么多。抱怨，抱怨抱怨的时候，我觉得自己太不成熟了，我并没有客观看待问题，因为自己的占有欲而让整个环境因为我的不爽而被影响，这样的我，太不成熟了。。。

就算别人已经答应你却反悔了，我们得想想，我们如果是那个人，别人可能没有义务要这样对你，况且他/她有可能因为有朋友在身边而忘了，又或则这就是她的待人处事的方法。对于没有落实的承诺我希望自己真的能比较看开点，也许那只是因为我太执著别人对我的承诺，我会希望别人真的能做到我想要的。人类不是完美的，不是每个东西都能做到十全十美，不是每个东西都能依你去做，我要学会改变，我不能这么偏激，这么执着，到底当中是我错了还是他错了就算了吧，我觉得结果不重要，最重要我能从中学到什么。

人类还是样貌学会的,我开心地是，我猜中了。让我觉得心不甘的是，为什么又要让我接受这个残酷的事实。我不敢与别人论付出，因为昨晚我知道我付出的不够多，又怎么与别人比爱呢？无论怎样，一个样貌学会的人是把关怀，爱心都放在第二位，就算那个人再好，再体贴，第一关没过，就是没过。

我就是我，我的部落格很少出现图案又或则是些字以外的东西，朋友的意见我听了，真的谢谢他。可是对我来说，我就是我，为什么要为了别人而改变自己，这个就是我的风格，我爱这样，就是这样，风格到底算是执著吗？

orange

weather the orange is sweet or sour, it already stated on it surface. As well as my emotion, i dint hide much, it is all on my face. however, there are also exception case which happened. Bright colour does not symbolize that the orange must be sour, bring damn to your life or vice versa. As well as fate, when you decided something, It is just so fake that you are giving people a chance to make a decision and telling people that, "dont think so long already, faster make a decision" . This is just making shame on me, i very very very extremely hate this situation. Why? Why must let me choose thing while you are not going to give me choice, u decided everything and you tell me to make a decision, it is so horrible, so hateful. Thats why i always throw the decision making process to my friend, dont ever ask me how and why if you had decided. i can do or follow anything that you planned, i wont give complain comment unless you give me a chance to decide but you had decided everything. I am totally upset and will be very angry. However, i show nothing on my face, i must remain a smile and bye on my face. i just smile happily still on my face except some lost control emotional on my leg, i dint move much, i stay calm and seated, that is how i showed that i dint lost control on my emotion. whenever i choose to escape from fact, it is the time where i hate the same thing happened on me for twice, again.