Sunday, 27 November 2011

the so self protective me

again, while the time i really wanna update my blog, it means that, there are heavy feeling that i duno how to express, but i hope person that i point to, understand what really i would like to mean.

honestly deep from my heart, i am those in which too love myself and high self protective, in which a negative way of saying, my life, i live with my own only. I will only put effort to love those people, which are those that they told me, i am available but once they tell me, sorry, we are impossible, then i shall stop any effort that shows that i love you. it is just because i too love myself already, i cant let myself bare to love someone for nothing, waiting ages for nothing, all effort for nothing... I scared all my efforts turn into zero, negative when i just doing or paying effort in one side, i very very fear that...

I wont easily threat a person too good, i think you shall know it. I first ever felt some1 who so cared me at first, really, it was my first time. You are so so angry on why i reply on slow, and i know, you are just care about me... I not those style, stay the same status while found people threat me good, insteadly i will threat back the people 10x greater than what he/she did on me. i hope all this nt my thought but the real factual that happened. I not sure why on your reject, if all above all just my thought, then i can understand why.

I just hope that you know, now, current me, is just such that minded full of you in single minute of me, if u hardly, seriously remain the same answer, i would let myself took up a long period to forget, to accept. if you think that you want to test me, then i shall fail the test. cause i cant take up my effort to convince myself to continue love someone that not love me.


if you really had that feeling, please tell.

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