start my rojak essay with this, hmmm, midnite really a scary time for me, it will make my mind full of 杂饭，in other means got many different thing inside my mind, so mess... i would like to complete this last nite but how unfortunate, the sleepy demon will over my writting blog angel... sigh...
还以为回家了，思想可以单纯点，可以简单点，其实，又是一次的自欺欺人。。庆幸的是我中学年代既然算是那么简单，那么平凡的度过，原来，现在的小孩子的中学生涯是那么的复杂， 那么的攻心计。。。朋友多一定是好？我从来就不觉得。很多人说，哇，你认识这么多人的阿？他们这样说，其实我并不开心，因为，我心里，并无几个知己。当他们需要你的时候就算百忙中都找上你，如果他们不需要你的时候，那对不起了， 你其实什么都不是。。。甚至会干脆给你一句，哎呀，对不起阿，刚才我们真得是忘记你了，这样的话听了，真讽刺，忘了？要我帮忙的时候不见得忘记。。。 这样的友谊，就算再多，你会要？你会喜欢？很抱歉，我宁可只是有我身边的几位知己就好了。。。随着岁月的成长，其实我并不会一针就认定别人是错的，因为对我来说，凡是留一线，日后好相见。 可是当坏印象成立了，难免会很难在我心中更改，唯有在心中坚持，他不会的。。。
当口说不在乎的时候并不代表我真的是不在乎，其实只是不让别人猜透我的心思。。。狮子座的我，就是这么空虚，虚假的。。。认了，的确是疏忽了,没看见。失败,没用,到现在为止一直都在提醒着自己,不能那么疏忽了。。。我一直都知道自己是一个很自我主意的人,觉得这个东西是我的就是我的，曾努力过改变自己，却一次又一次的尝试，却失败了。 深信这样会遭到许多排侧乃无法改变事实，被性格两个字打败。觉得近期的自己不断的逼着你出来，从11点回家，好像尺度越来越夸张的。。。阿，只是因为习惯了有你的存在。。。曾不断地在发呆，两个星期后的今天，我到底会怎样呢？我到底会不会抱着你说，我不想走。。。我怕，这天会到来，我也害怕，我第一次，为离别而哭泣，一发不能收拾。。。我既然把这段尴尬的话提前地抒发出来，结果隔天上车的时候，其实我真的处于尴尬情况，我不懂怎么开口了。。。深怕自己真的做的太过分了。。。这份友谊，就算做到怎么越界，怎么过分，怎么暧昧，到最后还是友谊，别质疑别疑问，因为就是不可能。i found that i really kinda slow in typing chinese, already type for three days just those few lines. so i start now with english. the reason why it is impossible? coz for my perception, i am a person that wouldnt date wif a girl that taller than me, haha, sorry la, who call this really genetic variation i am short meh??? how if u ask me if i am taller? sorry i wouldnt answer some question that in not in reality world. i say so not for confession but just i hope i dint say such thing that will scared u away at least as my FRIEND. 1st time u gave me a feel in which i really so care so care you as my friend, u crashed into my life... the feel of caring you is just like what HE( my dear) care me, it is same when my feel of caring you... nevermind though if u duno how to appreciate cause leo not those who will keep contribute but 0 feedfback, cause they will bored of keeping being contribute contribute and contribute, it will stop 1 day... i noe i say so is such reality but just allow me to say, i noe myself well... there are still lots of words, lots of thing i would like t otalk about u in my blog but just i duno how to express it out... no matter the msg in which electronic devices, u had no reply for me, what happen actually??? i just keep telling myself, might be she fall into busy, might her this this this, that that that, i keep find reason to convince myself, i dint did anything wrong cause the ESCAPE, sigghy, i am not the wai hong that last time, now i had no guts to try to ask for a FACTUAL cause fact oweys do hurt me deep deep... last time i really do had friend like u which very close to, but somehow i am just too childish and angry, then even i delete her in my facebook. it was a weird when she added me back in facebook few days ago. when i rewind back my memory, what i did that time, really so noob, i was just too 野蛮,tot holding tight was a good thing to do, but who knows, it just make me lost it... how noob i am.. so i do understand now, i will hold it loosely.... 谢谢你，今天的友谊谢谢当初的"被动"
last nite was really a kind not bad nite for me, haha, thx Crayn Tay for starting the photo section 1st. How happy i am coz i could take photo with some friends in which although might know for short period/long period ady... haha, took a photo wif her, not bad la, still got conver, for me, 挽回一段友情，is something that i so like to do when we couldnt be couple, coz nothing better than friendship right? 有时候宁可保持一段友谊， 也不要更进一步，更进一步的感情带来的顾虑总比友情多，妙润，谢谢你的这句话。
*paiseh la, not i dun wan upload photo, it is because my laptop very lag la, give me an i5 i upload = =
i back home for almost 2 weeks, walao, kinda fast! who can tear off the world batter of clock so that the time could be stop for temporarily so i can have more time to enjoy with my friends. if you ask me that weather i will regret if now school reopen? i would answer no. it is because i spend my holiday my meaningful/slackfully with my frensss... haha. it is enjoyable indeed. but when time pass, it almost come to a countdown for school reopen le, i fear i really do will miss my frens deep deep until i might drop my tears down when i leave? who knows...?
my mind was so messed, this blog, spend up my 3 days time to write, what actually am i worry about vocabulary? No. It was just all about you my friend... Now i deeply understand the feeling of owning a friend in which you are very care about, thinking him/her every moment that you had nothing to do, even there was just a small gap... Again i know that, 付出100分的得到的并不一定得到100分，朋友就像汽车，靠得太紧就会出事。。。
好像差不多了，有补充才继续写。。。
康笔
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