Emo Emo jiu ok jor

I am just doing fine, i am just doing good. I am all alright. these are the words that i tell to everyone. in case, i asked myself, do i really feel sad? do i necessary to cry out loud to really represent my deep feeling. i asked myself again and again, the answer was NO. I really dont know how i react towards my emotion. maybe i just, feel nothing. but something i couldnt be deny that, memory was just too deep to forget. it's still there in my brain, things was just like yesterday. How could i forgot every single detail that was just happened like yesterday? I just couldnt control sometime, it even present in my dream in that damn frequent. Sometime it came twice a week, sometime, it just happened almost every days. It doesnt feel good for me as the dream happened so real which sometime i woke with some tears, some laugh or even mad when i woke up. I had to get through these, Ken please stay tough, it already been a pass for you. Every time i tell ppl to be tough, just forget it, when i am in the situation, now only me myself can feel how hard to forget, how hard to put down. However, i m just trying as hard as i could, Ken you are tough, dont live in the pass, dun live in the memory, you are still Ken and life still goes on. This is the only thing that i could do and promise to myself, dun fall down, stay tough....

Recently during my interns, thanks god i met a girl, which was from same hometown as me. It just gave me a feeling of reliable when i am really down down down. I dint think further what we could be, she just gave a good relief during my downturn time, at least a friend indeed. Things doesnt always go like what you thought, after months of being friend, i found that..... our so called "pattern" was exactly on the opposite site. very very extreme of opposite site. My gosh =.= It was like you do something intentionally to help but she felt that i purposely to harm her. Hahahahaha. funny right. I dont put finger or blame to who, i just admit in anyway, I'm wrong. I shouldnt push her to accept my kindness, it was my fault.

缘分就是个奥妙的东西，勉强是没有幸福的。

我也学会了一样东西叫着，与其争取不属于自己的东西，珍惜，珍惜自己拥有的才是最好的。